Autobiography
Autobiography
By:
Joseph Kemmerly Fri 11:00AM
Religion has had a significant impact on my life and world view. Although, I think my views on religion are part of a larger intellectual evolution that I have undergone during my life.
Childhood
At first, my parents tried to raise me as a Catholic. Well, it was mostly my father who took me to Church on Sundays. My mother seems, for the most part, indifferent to religion. I dreaded going to Church on Sunday mornings and I was grateful when we missed mass, whatever the reason that might had been.
I went to a Catholic elementary school called St. John the Baptist in Costa Mesa. I enjoyed school there for the most part, except for being teased often times. Every Friday, the entire school would attend mass before we started our regular classes. Unlike going to mass on Sunday, I enjoyed going to mass on Friday because I found considerably more enjoyable to sit and listen to a priest, even if he was boring, than go to class and concentrate on difficult subjects like math.
When I was in the eighth grade, we had to pair up with first graders when we went to mass on Friday. I never quite understood what the point of this was. Nevertheless, I was lucky. My first grade buddy had a speech impediment and he had to go to speech on Friday mornings to help him with his problem. So I didn’t have to deal with the hassle of having a first grader by my side.
After the eighth grade, I was glad to leave St. John the Baptist. It’s not that it was a bad school, but after approximately eight years I really got sick of it.
During this time, I did not give too much thought to religion. Perhaps this was because I was too young to understand the gravity of theological issues. My critical thinking skills were virtually non-existent as well. I wouldn’t experience any sort of existential doubt until later years.
High School
I went to high school at Mater Dei, a Catholic high school in Santa Ana. I despised high school. It was difficult for me both academically and socially. Freshman year, surprisingly, was not as difficult for me as the later years would become.
Sophomore and Junior years were a disaster. I was struggling academically. I don’t know why I found it so difficult, but for whatever reason I was stressing out. Every so often the school would send out “progress reports” to tell parents how well their students were doing. At one point I got a progress report that said that in half of my classes I was getting D’s and F’s!
I was having a difficult time socially as well. I started to withdraw more and become more introverted (more so than I already am). At this point I started to develop a “sense of self” that I was uncomfortable with. Whenever I looked into the mirror, I didn’t like what I saw. I felt really awkward.
During this time, I started to have doubts about all of my previous beliefs, religious and otherwise. I guess the problem I had was, to use the technical name, the problem of evil. How could all of these bad things be happening to me if there was a God that was omnipotent and a God that had the capacity to rid the world of evil? This problem would confound me for a while after the middle of high school.
Thankfully, my senior year of high school wasn’t nearly as bad as my previous two. My grades got better during the last year. I was also having less difficult of a time socially. Despite some improvements, I look back at my high school time with resentment. I don’t think it had anything to do with the fact that I went to a Catholic high school. A lot of students wanted to attend a public school, but the fact that it was religious didn’t bother me so much. I think I most likely would have experienced the same problems at any other high school.
Early College
I went to Orange Coast College immediately after high school. Orange Coast College, though difficult at times, was a considerably better experience for me than high school. One of the first things that I thought was bizarre about going to a secular educational institution was that I didn’t have to wear uniforms! Since elementary school, I had been wearing uniforms every day to class. There was a sense of freedom I had as a result of being able to wear what I wanted to wear. Although, the funny thing is that I retained some habits that I still have to this day. For example, I still tuck my shirt into my pants, usually when it’s cold. We were forced to tuck our shirts in at all of my previous schools and I never quite got over the fact that I can do essentially anything I want with my clothes.
It was around the time when I began attending Orange Coast College that I began to develop an intellectual curiosity that led me to want to know more about the world than what I was learning in my classes. I don’t know if there was a specific event that sparked this curiosity in me. Perhaps coincidentally or perhaps not, but this was around the time when 9/11 occurred. Again, I don’t know if this specific event caused me to think about the world differently rather than a more intellectual event in my personal development, it could very well be a coincidence.
Present - Ethics
Nonetheless, I began doing my own personal research regarding ethical and religious issues. There were two classes that I took at Orange Coast College that were the catalyst for my intellectual development, Ethics and Logic. In Ethics, especially during the first week of the course, we learned about the various schools of ethics such as Kantian-ism, Utilitarianism, Existentialism, etc. My sympathies regarding ethics tend to lie with Kant. It’s not so much that Kant’s ethics are the best, because there not, but it simply seems the least absurd ethical philosophy relative to all others.
Utilitarianism seems to obviously absurd to me. One could easily use utilitarianism to justify slavery. I know that there are fairly complicated arguments in favor of utilitarianism such as the distinction made between act and rule utilitarianism, but nonetheless utilitarianism seems absurd to me almost at face value. Existentialism leads to many absurd conclusions as well, which is ironic since existentialists tend to believe that the world is valueless and absurd.
Regarding religion, there’s the Divine Command theory of ethics. Divine Command theory doesn’t make much sense to me. If God can create morality by divine will then can God break the moral rules that he created or does he have to follow his own rules as well? If God has to obey his own rules, how could God be omnipotent? If God can break his own rules then is it okay for God to kill and steal? This is sort of like asking, “What happens when an immovable object meets an irresistible force.”
Kantian-ism is relatively better than the rest. His categorical imperative appeals to me because it takes the concept of the rational will of others into consideration whereas the others tend to be more based on consequences. Plus, Kant seems to be more sympathetic toward individual autonomy relative to other ethical systems.
Present – Logic
My logic course also had an influence on me. This course sparked my interest in the idea of Truth. How do we come to know truth and what constitutes truth? In class, I learned about the distinction between formal and informal logic.
I was particularly interested in the study of fallacies. Once I learned about them, I realized how often one encounters them. It’s especially fun to catch someone resorting to fallacies in political debates. The study of fallacies led me to wonder how it is we know when something is true or not.
My favorite tool for determining truth is to use Carl Sagan’s Baloney Detection Kit. This includes various tools such as the scientific method, Occam’s Razor, as well as formal and informal logic. I find this especially useful in the face of various religious claims.
Conclusion
My intellectual endeavors, both inside and outside of class, have had a considerable influence on my religious beliefs. When I encounter religious claims, I try my best to run them through Carl Sagan’s Baloney Detection Kit. Regarding religion and ethics, I am not a big fan of the divine command theory of ethics, instead preferring a more secular, Kantian approach towards ethics.
My own theological views are constantly evolving, even as I type out this autobiography. I am not a big fan of the idea of a personal God due to the problem of evil. In fact, I tend to think of myself as a weak agnostic. I am open to the idea of religious claims being true, but I doubt they can be known. This is a position I find comfortable because it allows for me to be pluralistic towards religious claims and not dogmatic.
By:
Joseph Kemmerly Fri 11:00AM
Religion has had a significant impact on my life and world view. Although, I think my views on religion are part of a larger intellectual evolution that I have undergone during my life.
Childhood
At first, my parents tried to raise me as a Catholic. Well, it was mostly my father who took me to Church on Sundays. My mother seems, for the most part, indifferent to religion. I dreaded going to Church on Sunday mornings and I was grateful when we missed mass, whatever the reason that might had been.
I went to a Catholic elementary school called St. John the Baptist in Costa Mesa. I enjoyed school there for the most part, except for being teased often times. Every Friday, the entire school would attend mass before we started our regular classes. Unlike going to mass on Sunday, I enjoyed going to mass on Friday because I found considerably more enjoyable to sit and listen to a priest, even if he was boring, than go to class and concentrate on difficult subjects like math.
When I was in the eighth grade, we had to pair up with first graders when we went to mass on Friday. I never quite understood what the point of this was. Nevertheless, I was lucky. My first grade buddy had a speech impediment and he had to go to speech on Friday mornings to help him with his problem. So I didn’t have to deal with the hassle of having a first grader by my side.
After the eighth grade, I was glad to leave St. John the Baptist. It’s not that it was a bad school, but after approximately eight years I really got sick of it.
During this time, I did not give too much thought to religion. Perhaps this was because I was too young to understand the gravity of theological issues. My critical thinking skills were virtually non-existent as well. I wouldn’t experience any sort of existential doubt until later years.
High School
I went to high school at Mater Dei, a Catholic high school in Santa Ana. I despised high school. It was difficult for me both academically and socially. Freshman year, surprisingly, was not as difficult for me as the later years would become.
Sophomore and Junior years were a disaster. I was struggling academically. I don’t know why I found it so difficult, but for whatever reason I was stressing out. Every so often the school would send out “progress reports” to tell parents how well their students were doing. At one point I got a progress report that said that in half of my classes I was getting D’s and F’s!
I was having a difficult time socially as well. I started to withdraw more and become more introverted (more so than I already am). At this point I started to develop a “sense of self” that I was uncomfortable with. Whenever I looked into the mirror, I didn’t like what I saw. I felt really awkward.
During this time, I started to have doubts about all of my previous beliefs, religious and otherwise. I guess the problem I had was, to use the technical name, the problem of evil. How could all of these bad things be happening to me if there was a God that was omnipotent and a God that had the capacity to rid the world of evil? This problem would confound me for a while after the middle of high school.
Thankfully, my senior year of high school wasn’t nearly as bad as my previous two. My grades got better during the last year. I was also having less difficult of a time socially. Despite some improvements, I look back at my high school time with resentment. I don’t think it had anything to do with the fact that I went to a Catholic high school. A lot of students wanted to attend a public school, but the fact that it was religious didn’t bother me so much. I think I most likely would have experienced the same problems at any other high school.
Early College
I went to Orange Coast College immediately after high school. Orange Coast College, though difficult at times, was a considerably better experience for me than high school. One of the first things that I thought was bizarre about going to a secular educational institution was that I didn’t have to wear uniforms! Since elementary school, I had been wearing uniforms every day to class. There was a sense of freedom I had as a result of being able to wear what I wanted to wear. Although, the funny thing is that I retained some habits that I still have to this day. For example, I still tuck my shirt into my pants, usually when it’s cold. We were forced to tuck our shirts in at all of my previous schools and I never quite got over the fact that I can do essentially anything I want with my clothes.
It was around the time when I began attending Orange Coast College that I began to develop an intellectual curiosity that led me to want to know more about the world than what I was learning in my classes. I don’t know if there was a specific event that sparked this curiosity in me. Perhaps coincidentally or perhaps not, but this was around the time when 9/11 occurred. Again, I don’t know if this specific event caused me to think about the world differently rather than a more intellectual event in my personal development, it could very well be a coincidence.
Present - Ethics
Nonetheless, I began doing my own personal research regarding ethical and religious issues. There were two classes that I took at Orange Coast College that were the catalyst for my intellectual development, Ethics and Logic. In Ethics, especially during the first week of the course, we learned about the various schools of ethics such as Kantian-ism, Utilitarianism, Existentialism, etc. My sympathies regarding ethics tend to lie with Kant. It’s not so much that Kant’s ethics are the best, because there not, but it simply seems the least absurd ethical philosophy relative to all others.
Utilitarianism seems to obviously absurd to me. One could easily use utilitarianism to justify slavery. I know that there are fairly complicated arguments in favor of utilitarianism such as the distinction made between act and rule utilitarianism, but nonetheless utilitarianism seems absurd to me almost at face value. Existentialism leads to many absurd conclusions as well, which is ironic since existentialists tend to believe that the world is valueless and absurd.
Regarding religion, there’s the Divine Command theory of ethics. Divine Command theory doesn’t make much sense to me. If God can create morality by divine will then can God break the moral rules that he created or does he have to follow his own rules as well? If God has to obey his own rules, how could God be omnipotent? If God can break his own rules then is it okay for God to kill and steal? This is sort of like asking, “What happens when an immovable object meets an irresistible force.”
Kantian-ism is relatively better than the rest. His categorical imperative appeals to me because it takes the concept of the rational will of others into consideration whereas the others tend to be more based on consequences. Plus, Kant seems to be more sympathetic toward individual autonomy relative to other ethical systems.
Present – Logic
My logic course also had an influence on me. This course sparked my interest in the idea of Truth. How do we come to know truth and what constitutes truth? In class, I learned about the distinction between formal and informal logic.
I was particularly interested in the study of fallacies. Once I learned about them, I realized how often one encounters them. It’s especially fun to catch someone resorting to fallacies in political debates. The study of fallacies led me to wonder how it is we know when something is true or not.
My favorite tool for determining truth is to use Carl Sagan’s Baloney Detection Kit. This includes various tools such as the scientific method, Occam’s Razor, as well as formal and informal logic. I find this especially useful in the face of various religious claims.
Conclusion
My intellectual endeavors, both inside and outside of class, have had a considerable influence on my religious beliefs. When I encounter religious claims, I try my best to run them through Carl Sagan’s Baloney Detection Kit. Regarding religion and ethics, I am not a big fan of the divine command theory of ethics, instead preferring a more secular, Kantian approach towards ethics.
My own theological views are constantly evolving, even as I type out this autobiography. I am not a big fan of the idea of a personal God due to the problem of evil. In fact, I tend to think of myself as a weak agnostic. I am open to the idea of religious claims being true, but I doubt they can be known. This is a position I find comfortable because it allows for me to be pluralistic towards religious claims and not dogmatic.
posted by Joseph at 1:57 PM
<< Home